Mastering the Male Orgasm: A Step-By-Step Guide for Couples

Please yourself and your partner like never before by learning how to destroy the myth that men have a biological limit to lovemaking.

Most things we take for granted are true, but not all: Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet — and men can’t climax like women, no matter what they do. Obvious, right? Actually, wrong. With a creative change in attitude and playful determination, couples can experience a new level of intimate satisfaction through gradual mastery of the male multiple orgasm.

By “mastering the male multiple orgasm” I literally mean learning how to repeatedly ejaculate with little to no recovery time in between each release. After successfully applying these techniques, you should be able to do it as many as 10 times or more during any sexual session with your partner. As I’ll also show, the benefits go far beyond increased satisfaction for only men.

Skeptical? That’s understandable. For evidence, search various adult sites with terms such as “multiple cumshots” to confirm non-performer “amateur” men actually do it. Hopefully this post elevates your interest from surfing kinky fetishes to improving your romantic life. Our enlightened era of female ejaculation and their kin encourages forays into male reinvention, too.

And none too soon. Few societies have been as obsessed by sex as ours, or as frustrated. Communication breakdown, loss of intimacy, and disappointment are often cited as the top reasons for divorce — each made worse by a “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” attitude shared by millions of men. This guide is designed to heighten sensitivities and encourage men to become better lovers.

Who am I and what are my credentials, you ask? I’m neither a sex therapist nor a healthcare pro; instead, I’m a middle aged guy who has, without setting out to do so, discovered this ability. Like most men I’ve “fumbled towards ecstasy” as Sarah McLachlin sings, and have done my best to overcome my own shortcomings, so to speak, and figure this out. Now I’d like to share.

The only prerequisites for success are good health, an open mind, and ideally a partner with whom you can comfortably and enthusiastically conduct a few exercises.

The only prerequisites for success are good health, an open mind, and ideally a partner with whom you can comfortably and enthusiastically conduct a few exercises. Since I’m basing this approach solely on what’s worked for me, please take all my recommendations with a proverbial grain of salt, common sense, and personal caution. Read my suggestions, and make them your own.

Along the way I do my best to keep things as simple and prescriptive as possible, while providing descriptive detail. The extra effort is necessary to do this fascinating yet regrettably neglected topic justice, and should prove worth your while. I use some clinical terminology, and playfully invent neologisms such as Nogasm, Minigasm, and Fullgasm to help freshen perspectives.

This post is meant for all adult men of all ages and their lovers, regardless of sexual orientation.

Also please note that this post is meant for all adult men of all ages and their lovers, regardless of sexual orientation. I try to maintain gender-neutrality when referring to partners, but sometimes default heterosexual to contrast biological differences. Rest assured that every exercise is meant for and should work equally well for straight, gay, bi, transgender, and their mates.

We need more conversation about, and research into, this topic. The Internet already abounds with articles, many of which get the separation between orgasm and ejaculation right, but erroneously claim that multiple “wet” release without a refractory period is impossible. My own experience and Pornhub prove otherwise. But don’t take our word for it, give it a try!

Your comments are welcomed and encouraged below. I’d love to hear about your own experiences, what works and what doesn’t. As a society we’ve made tremendous progress with “sexual liberation” but remain obsessed, confused, and too often ashamed by the basic needs of our own bodies and minds. The male multiple orgasm is still uncharted territory and needs more exploration.

The express goal of this blog post is to open dialogue and experimentation, and improve relationships through better communication, intimacy, and responsiveness. Receptive couples journey through 3 clearly defined steps designed to create a baseline, apply various visualizations and techniques, and ultimately integrate these learnings into a robust and healthy love life:

1. Know Your “Nogasm” Shift focus from orgasmic ends to sensual means

2. Master Your “Minigasm” Learn how to “Loop the Roller Coaster”

3. Free Your “Fullgasm” Transform your love lives into tantric experiences

Turning curious? Wondering WTF? Let’s get started…

Step 1: Know Your Nogasm

Men tend to consider their orgasm as the pinnacle of every sexual experience, a limiting and self-defeating mindset that ironically gets in the way of truly understanding and controlling it. That’s not surprising since coming is so incredibly pleasurable, yet also exacts the price of immediately curtailing desire and requiring considerable recovery time, especially as men get older.

Such an obsession can shift into envy when we desire the ability to come and come as frequently as uninhibited women do. But since adolescence we’ve accepted the apparently indelible limitations of our own biology, and stubbornly fixate on that which seems a major weakness — as the French say, our “little death.” Changing that can breathe new life into our relationships.

Reverse psychology is the first strategy: the less men focus on coming the more we can extend our pleasure and that of our partner. Our objective is to experience everything from warmup foreplay to intense intercourse not as a means to an orgasmic end, but as a continuous and extended sharing of physical and emotional bliss. Possibilities appear when priorities change.

The goal is to experience everything from warmup foreplay to intense intercourse not as a means to an orgasmic end, but as a continuous and extended sharing of physical and emotional bliss.

The possibility we’re exploring here is the maximization of sensuous pleasure, the opposite of “getting off.” Our culture often sacrifices essential human joys for arbitrary success indicators. The result is a negative feedback loop that compromises lives and relationships, all because we believe the wrong things — in this case the misguided assumption that “after we come, we’re done.”

Getting over that sounds great, but you’re wondering how that’s possible. I’m neither a therapist nor a theorist, so let’s get to the practical things I think couples can do to induce sexual and sensuous transformation. I’ll share background and a series of “Exercises” to practice alone and together, all summarized at the end. Give ’em a whirl and let me know what you think.

Welcome to the “Nogasm”

A great way to learn something complicated is to start from scratch, in this case how not to come at all. A Nogasm happens when you refrain from coming altogether, either when pleasuring yourself or with your partner. Sound like torture? Now you know why so few men have gone down this road to multiple orgasmic mastery. Trust me, knowing your Nogasm is the heart of great sex.

Not allowing yourself to climax teaches several lessons simultaneously. The counter-intuitive tactic compels you to shift focus away from the orgasm as an ultimate end, and forces you to learn how to maximize pleasure without the expected build up to all-out release. Accepting that you won’t come will eventually take your mind off coming, and helps to improve your control, too.

Nogasming also offers physical benefits which pay off in droves, especially if you’re a guy who’s middle aged or older.

Nogasming also offers physical benefits which pay off in droves, especially if you’re a guy who’s middle aged or older. We’ll go into more detail later, but for now note that coming “full out” saps quite a bit of energy from the male mind and body. The ability to hold back and save your usual orgasm (what we’ll soon call the Fullgasm) for special occasions and encounters is key to success.

As a side note, men of all ages can suffer from premature ejaculation, so the techniques I describe below — especially the pelvic muscle strengthening ones — might work wonders. Some men conversely endure delayed ejaculation, a condition where they have trouble or are unable to climax at all; these guys should check with their docs, but Steps 2 and 3 might be of some help.

Exercise A: When You’re Done, Don’t Come

Enough background, let’s begin: I recommend you start alone, since a partner adds physical and emotional complexity. Every guy gets aroused and plateaus in their own quirky way but that doesn’t matter, so don’t do it any differently now. Regardless how, how often, and how long you jerk off for, the trick here is to go ahead and do it as you usually would — just don’t let yourself climax.

That sounds like it defeats the usual point of masturbating, which is exactly my point. Learn how to disasssociate masturbation from ejaculation by “edging,” the technique of stimulating yourself just to the brink of coming and then holding back. Every guy is different: breathe, pinch, squeeze, rub, stroke in any manner that works. The pent up pressure will likely be uncomfortable.

Learn how to disasssociate masturbation from ejaculation by “edging,” the technique of stimulating yourself just to the brink of coming and then holding back.

Get used to that discomfort. Your habit is to build up then release at peak. Now you’re shifting focus to get as close as you can to peak, then backing off. Ride the wave of excitement, but don’t go over the top. How close can you get to coming without actually letting go? Rinse and repeat. You’re taking your first steps to mastering the Nogasm, gateway to the Minigasm. Really, really.

If you’re having trouble, or if the temptation to climax is physically or psychologically overwhelming try to mentally distract yourself. When stimulation leads you to the very brink think about dead puppies, baseball stats, the plight of refugees. Not to be cynical but these are the stereotypical (and often effective) topics meant to dampen arousal and hold you back.

Try your own. If these come up short, then now could be a good time to work at increasing strength in what are known as your pelvic floor muscles. These create pinching and squeezing sensations in your groin, and are used to control urination and propel ejaculation. The stronger they become the more control you will have. Doing so-called “Kegel” exercises can help build them.

Go ahead and Google it. These essentially involve working your “pubococcygeus” muscles to gradually strengthen them. First identify the muscles you use to stop or hold yourself from peeing, then contract and release them throughout the day in sets like you would when lifting weights or doing other repetitious routines. Research, experiment, and be careful.

After your first anticlimactic Nogasmic experience, let yourself come an hour or so later. The pressure will ebb and flow for that hour, hang in there. The next time you masturbate apply the same approach, but give yourself at least four or five hours until you return to finish the job. The third time wait for a day or more if you can. Track your progress if that’s not too weird for you.

If diligent you’ll soon be able to Nogasm without needing to fully release until at least 24 hours afterwards. The purpose at this stage isn’t for you to like this, or even feel comfortable doing it; instead you’re learning control, increasing tolerance, and getting accustomed to separating stimulation from the expectation of ejaculation. You’re also learning how to store sexual energy.

Exercise B: Share Your Nogasmic Zen

Now you’re ready to Nogasm with a partner, lucky you. Communication is central to a good relationship, so feel free to share the intent here — or better still get them on board by encouraging them to read this blog post. (I’m assuming readers include women interested in sharing and experimenting with their partners. Go for it! Whatever helps improve love lives is my hope.)

After you both know the scoop, do everything you normally do — foreplay, oral sex, penetration — with gusto, but also with the express goal of you refraining from coming. At first the awkardness and difficulty of doing this solo will be compounded by the energy and intimacy of sex with your mate, but do your best. Typical duration varies for couples, just try to extend it.

Apply the techniques you used alone now with your partner to get as close as possible without triggering full orgasm: Start with your preferred form of arousal, slowly increase stimulation and intensity by touching, stroking, licking, sucking, and penetrating into an exhilarating plateau, and then at the peak of your excitement and desire — STOP — and don’t come until next time.

With determation you should eventually be able to hold out for over a day after having Nogasmic sex, then progressively longer. You’ll likely feel heightened emotional irritation and physical discomfort in between delayed orgasms, but the mindshift from explosive climaxing to extended stimulation does wonders. Your orgasm has become a special event to be shared.

Your partner, meanwhile, is welcome to come as often as they please. Not “allowed” to orgasm, you’re compelled to spend more time and energy on their pleasure rather than yours — the first expression of the paradoxical essence of this technique: Mastering the male multiple orgasm is less about multiplying a man’s pleasure, and more about improving a couple’s love life.

Mastering the male multiple orgasm is less about multiplying a man’s pleasure, and more about improving a couple’s love life.

Continue this oscillating cycle between Nogasms and Fullgasms for at least a couple weeks, ideally for a month. Clearly designate sessions when you shouldn’t climax from when it’s cool to let go. Hopefully after each delay in gratification the process will get easier and longer in duration; success is measured in terms of your boosted control, communication, and intimacy.

Recording progress is useful. Much like partners who use the rhythm method for family planning, a “Nogasm Calendar” can help track male come and no-come sex days. Reminders of extended time goals and commensurate sexual rewards can be noted, giving a couple’s love life an awkward formality that’s nonetheless offset by new found openness and playful experimentation.

Getting to a place where you and your partner no longer care about the male orgasm is also the best indicator that you’re ready to move on to the next step in learning how to do it multiple times. I know that sounds absurd, especially since men seem biologically and emotionally engineered to release every time, and since we’re used to it requiring long recovery afterwards.

Note that if this step and any of the subsequent ones prove too arduous or you can’t do them, don’t worry about it. The orgasm itself — Nogasm or not — is secondary to the rapport you’re building with your mate. Simply by working together and trying new approaches to love making you’ve both opened lines of communication. With each try you have a fresh chance to begin anew.

Trust me: Even if you and your partner make it only this far your love life should already improve. The hours and effort a man expends holding back will naturally flow into giving forward; and the delicate edging their mate must do to keep a man from going “over the top” increases sensitivities to his physiology and psychology. If done right you’ll both be profoundly pleased.

Congratulations! With a heavy set of blue balls you’re ready for the next step.

Summary of Step 1: Know Your Nogasm

• Masturbate with increasingly longer time between not-coming and coming

• Shift focus away from coming to stimulating yourself for extended periods

• After you’re comfortable doing this alone then practice with your partner

• Shift your focus away from your own pleasure into satisfying your partner

• When comfortable making love without climaxing you’re ready for Step 2…

Step 2: Master Your Minigasm

Similar to how early childhood influences adult behavior, our initial sexual experiences create a foundation for life long love making. The first — and arguably most difficult — sexual skill men need to learn is control. I remember my own awkward and fumbling high school years when a girl need only touch my leg during a date before I immediately shot into my pants. Embarassing!

So we quickly learn to delay coming by pinching the same muscles we’ve used to delay urinating (as described above). By fine tuning these pelvic floor muscles we gradually build the strength and control necessary to mercifully delay orgasm. Overcoming teenage premature ejaculation is an arduous rite of passage that takes time and practice, with thrills and spills along the way.

Mastering the male multiple orgasm is the next step in our sexual evolution: we discover not only how to delay our orgasm, but play our orgasm. Similar to how an expert musician knows every nuance of their instrument to extract each note with precision, men can learn how to control the orgasmic cycle through its various phases, avoid the “point of no return,” and still ejaculate.

Mastering the male multiple orgasm is the next step in our sexual evolution: we discover not only how to delay our orgasm, but play our orgasm.

Another useful analogy is riding a roller coaster: the rider is you, the car is your body, and the rail is the trajectory of your love making. From a biological point of view the phases of the male orgasm can be mapped as milestones starting at the bottom and rising up to the top of the first lift hill. The trick is to teeter on the edge of the peak and release without going over the top.

Up to now I’ve conflated the terms “come,” “climax,” “orgasm,” “release,” and “ejaculation.” But as we’ll see, the male orgasm is composed of two distinct components clinically called emission (the mental “point of no return” after which you can’t stop) and ejaculation (the physical muscle contractions that release semen). Learning how to separate and control these two is the key.

Before we get into the mechanics of the procedure, allow me to take a quick detour and personally describe how this works. Neither participating in a clinical study nor lab experiment, I stumbled across the technique pretty much by accident. Also note that my intent isn’t to impress anyone or get laid; I just think more male multiple orgasms would make the world a better place.

Eyewitness Account: Citizen Ejaculator

I was surprised and almost shocked the first time I ejaculated multiple times without requiring any recovery between each release. Not only was the result unexpected, but the process leading up to it was mostly unconscious. I don’t remember the exact circumstances, but I do recall becoming overly excited with a partner and wanting to extend our sexual pleasure best I could.

So as I felt myself starting to come I did my best to pull back from the brink. The contractions had already begun, I was already squirting, but instead of resigning myself to the inevitable orgasm (and equally regrettable downtime that would ensue) I stubbornly wrestled it back by manually squeezing my penis and internally contracting and contracting as hard and often as possible.

Although I felt the initial orgasmic pulsation and even shot a few times, to my astonishment I somehow managed to halt the process before it could finish. The result was a “partial” or “mini” orgasm stopped in its tracks. And since I didn’t come “full out” I didn’t need any recovery time — even though I seemed to orgasm, my partner and I could continue without any interruption or delay.

Important to specify here that, contrary to what most articles on this topic assert, I actually had a “wet” ejaculation and released semen. The volume seemed equivalent to what I would propel with a typical ejaculation — the big difference being that instead of repeatedly releasing in diminishing quantities and intensity until spent, I released one squirt, maybe two, then stopped.

Not going unnoticed, I tried to repeat this sexual miracle a few minutes later after my arousal plateaued. I again felt myself about to come, immediately began squeezing and contracting, and to my great surprise yet again released several times before somehow being able to stop my orgasm before it finished. And exactly like last time I felt no lessening of energy or desire whatsoever.

Although I felt the initial orgasmic pulsation and even shot a few times, to my astonishment I somehow managed to halt the process before it could finish. The result was a “partial” or “mini” orgasm stopped in its tracks.

On a roll and figuring third times the charm, I revved up to give this crazy love magic another whirl. But this time I was less successful: After I felt the initial orgasmic pulsations and started to ejaculate, I couldn’t squeeze and contract hard and frequently enough to stop my climax — and “slipped” beyond the point of no return into a “full” orgasm. Afterwards I was finished, as usual.

Although revelatory, I didn’t concentrate on refining the technique and applied it randomly. But through trial and error — some of it conscious and much of it unconscious — my ability to repeatedly ejaculate with little to no recovery time gradually became a routine part of my sexual repertoire. Some lovers were amazed by my enhanced endurance, others annoyed by the mess.

Prior to being able to do this I assumed that orgasm and ejaculation were integrated parts of the same mechanism, the way men’s bodies are built. Thinking about it more, I began to understand that the trigger and the release are actually two different experiential and biological states; I learned how to stop myself from fully orgasming by using the same muscles used to ejaculate.

Since then I’ve also learned the difference between a “Minigasm” and a “Fullgasm,” not only extending my duration in the sack, but reminding me that the climax shouldn’t be a sexual goal at all. Mastering orgasmic control is like becoming a foodie of sex: I’m into the thrill of each sensuous moment and shared feeling, rather than distracted by what my basic biology needs to spill.

That all said, I hope my personal story infuses this topic with humanity, relevance, and plausibility. Another benefit is to provide subjective context for the procedural, technical, and repetitive exercises to follow. Step 3 goes into how the technique can be creatively incorporated into your love life. For now, let’s try to get you able to do it, consistently repeat it, and eventually master it.

Riding the Roller Coaster: From Fullgasm to Minigasm

Having completed Exercises A and B, you should be a pro at indefinitely delaying climaxing while masturbating or having sex with your mate. So far you’ve learned how to focus less on pleasing yourself and more on pleasing your partner, and created a ground state for mastering the multiple. Now let’s shift from the oft-delayed Nogasm to learning a well-played Minigasm.

A “Minigasm” differs from a typical “full” orgasm as I mentioned above: instead of hitting your point of no return and rolling right into ejaculation, you stop your orgasm before it gets carried away with strong, focused pelvic muscle contractions. These halt the cycle but still let you ejaculate. Since you haven’t come full out or “Fullgasmed,” you don’t need recovery time.

To put this into practice, let’s bring back our roller coaster analogy, a terrific visualization for the rising and falling energy that’s characteristic of male sexual response. The full male orgasm has 5 distinct phases, which we can map to specific locations on the track, starting at the bottom of the first big lift hill and following the course up and down and around back to the station:

1. Arousal: Click! Your penis gets hard, your breath rate, heart rate, and body temperature increase to send you clicking up the first hill of the track as …

2. Plateau: Click! Your excitation rises, penis throbs and secretes, pelvis thrusts, breath and metabolics increase more to send you higher up to…

3. Emission: Click! You hit the point of no return and Fullgasm — hurling you uncontrollably over the top of the hill and down the other side…

4. Ejaculation: Zoom! You’re squirting in spasms and racing down the first lift hill, roaring up and down progressively smaller hills to finish…

5. Refraction: Recover! Exhausted your penis becomes flaccid and your bio functions decrease as you slow and come to a halt back at the station.

The “Fullgasm”: Typical Male Orgasm

Here we visually map the typical full male orgasm onto a roller coaster track, specifying each stage as a point on the journey. As your arousal builds up to its plateau and triggers emission, your car has enough momentum to send it over the top of the lift hill and you ejaculate. Your car loses energy from each downward hill, until needing refraction time before being able to start over.

The “Minigasm”: Enabling Male Muliple Orgasms

In contrast, the Minigasm enabling male multiples occurs when you slam the brakes on your car after emission, the car teeter-totters at the top of the hill peak, and goes over just enough to trigger ejaculation — but not so far that you can’t pull the car back to its original position, where it falls back down to the plateau phase and is able to loop back up again without any refraction at all.

Mastering the Minigasm is essentially accomplished by familiarizing yourself with the track between the plateau of arousal (2) and the point of no return (3) so that you’re able to let your roller coaster car tip over the edge of the peak enough to actually ejaculate (4) — yet you are still able to stop the car before it zooms down the other side and send it back to where it started:

1. Arousal: Click! Your penis gets hard, your breath rate, heart rate, and body temperature increase to send you clicking up the first hill of the track as …

2. Plateau: Click! Your excitation rises, penis throbs and secretes, pelvis thrusts, breath and metabolics increase more to send you higher up…

3. Emission: Click! You start to come but instantly hit the brakes with strong muscular contractions so you Minigasm instead, teetering on the peak…

4. Ejaculation: Loop! You’re squirting in spasms but the car teeters back to the other side of the hill where your excitement level can return to…

5. Plateau: Click! Your excitation rises, penis throbs and secretes, pelvis thrusts, breath and metabolics increase more to send you higher up…

6. Emission: Click! You start to come again but instantly hit the brakes with muscular contractions so you Minigasm instead, teetering on the peak…

7. Ejaculation: Loop! You’re squirting in spasms but the car teeters back to the other side of the hill where your excitement level can return to…

8. Plateau: Click! Your excitation rises, penis throbs and secretes, pelvis thrusts, breath and metabolics increase more to send you higher up…

9. Continued indefinitely, with no need for Refraction at all, the entire Minigasmic cycle supported and reinforced by your Nogasmic skill.

Another way to describe it is that you let yourself start to come, but you’ve developed enough muscle control and strength to put on the brakes immediately before you reach the point of no return— and after you’re already ejaculating. In other words the emission phase gets pushed “into” the ejaculation phase, so that you ejaculate without technically having climaxed.

Yet another way to describe owning this critical boundary between emission and ejaculation is to “fool” your brain into thinking you’re coming when you aren’t yet. Even though the pulsations have begun and you’re actually ejaculating, your orgasmic switch hasn’t been fully flipped yet — able to comfortably Nogasm, you don’t need to go there and Minigasm instead.

Creative visualization helps: I sometimes imagine myself on such a roller coaster when having sex, building up and releasing tension like the whooshing rise and fall over the hills. In the back of my mind “On Fire” by Van Halen plays, roller coaster inspired and with Eddie’s innovative guitar harmonics at the bridge sonically mimicking the “clicking” of the lift chain.

Exercise C: Experience Your First Minigasm

Visualization and vocabulary are good, but there’s no substitute for a “hands on” tutorial — they’ll of course need to be your hands or that of your partner. That said, start practicing by yourself or with company, depending on the nature of your relationship. Personally, the intensity of physical contact with a lover greatly heightens my sexual response, great for working on multiples.

The more sexual energy and internal pressure you have built up before you start this exercise, the easier it’ll be to Minigasm. So try not to come for several days, at least a week before you give it your first try. Get comfortable and set reasonable expectations. Suspend all criticism and self-consciousness by treating these attempts as a playful game. All you can do is win in the sack.

Imagine you’re at the bottom of the lift hill, your body and mind getting into the mood. As the car of your desire clicks slowly upward, so does your breath rate, pulse, and body temperature. As you become erect, focus on the building pressure and the muscles you use to increase and decrease the tension. Time to the plateau phase will always vary, so pace yourself for the long haul.

Physiologically your ass and balls tighten as your testes release sperm into the epididymus; peristaltic waves push sperm into tubes and glands called the vas deferens and seminal vesicles that add secretions. Ejaculation happens when the “reward” centers in your brain (cerebellum, amygdala, and others) flush with neurochemicals and your brain “explodes” with pure exhilaration.

Ejaculation happens when the “reward” centers in your brain (cerebellum, amygdala, and others) flush with neurochemicals and your brain “explodes” with pure exhilaration.

That triggers muscles in your urethra to spasm and contract, repeatedly hurling semen out of your penis. Another vital area of your brain called the lateral orbitofrontal cortex — reponsible for judgment and self control —quickly shuts down. That shut down is probably why maintaining control at this point is so difficult. Most men instantly let themselves go at this point.

But not you — you’re a Nogasm maestro, an essential skill here. Even if you don’t start to come the many days and hopefully over a week of build up might even enable you to tease out a sputter; and if you do boldly cross the line into emission, you’ll be able to wake your cortex back up and shift from falling into one big Fullgasm to triggering several repeatable Minigasms. Voila!

Pay close attention to the feedback loop between your throbbing penis being stimulated, your muscles contracting, and your brain signalling “I’m coming!” At first they seem to occur simultaneously, but the more in depth you feel and understand them the more distinct and separate they become. The key to multiple minis is being able to isolate all these sensations and your actions.

Neurologically everything is happening in your brain, anyway, so let’s focus on that: You’re experiencing the inexorable build up of incredible sensuous pleasure and intense muscular pressure while being magnetically drawn to a particular place in your mind that, when triggered, explodes into a frenzy of more pleasure and more pressure, and finally uncontrollable pulsations.

Visualize that “trigger place” in your mind, then own it.

Visualize that “trigger place” in your mind, then own it. When the explosion begins take command of that electrifying moment with the same muscular pressure that’s driven you to the brink — only instead of riding the resulting pulsations to completion, you’re intensifying them and in ways reversing them to throttle the rest of the explosion and flip a Fullgasm into a Minigasm.

As you do this you’ll notice an astonishing side effect: The energetic muscular contractions you use to mute your emission explosion are no different than the ones used to ejaculate. In other words, an unintended yet fantastic consequence of forcefully hitting the brakes is releasing several squirts. The result: Surprise! You’ve attained ejaculation without the need for recovery.

The sexual calisthenics is less complicated than it might seem. Just focus on the contractions and play with pushing them to their extreme limit before coming full out. Explore your body and mind space. Do this frequently enough and before you realize it you’ll ejaculate without climaxing fully. Try it again, fail, then try it again and succeed. It’s all about creating muscle memory.

You’ll know if you’re getting it right if your partner starts getting into it, too. Your otherwise routine love life has been taken to a strange but titillating place where everything seems different. The disruption will be confusing and awkward at times, but the changes refreshing and full of the unexpected. Simply by paying closer attention and talking, exciting things will happen.

Exercise D: Share Your Enthusigasm

Congratulations, if you’ve made it this far you’ve experienced your first Minigasm! Defying common knowledge, you’re own doubts, and most other articles on this subject, you’ve been able to “wet” ejaculate without coming “full out” or needing recovery. What began as a questionable blog post has turned into a potentially transformative experience for you and your partner.

A quick comment about male multiple orgasms that are “dry” — Most articles on the topic focus on emission resulting in Minigasms that don’t physically result in semen being released from the body; you feel the contractions, but don’t actually squirt. “Wet” ejaculations are usually deemed impossible, which is contrary to my experience. Either or both are fine. Experiment and be free.

That said, being able to Minigasm (wet or dry) is a start; being able to do it on command and consistently is our goal. If you’re like I was, your first ones are still random and unpredictable, and you often slip into a Fullgasm before you know it. Instead of trying to conjure them up like spells that might or might not work, you’d love to add Minigasms to your bag of bedroom basics.

The good news is that like most things, practice makes perfect. And like most skills that you get better at, confidence builds with every successful try. Central to my own mastery was a series of sexual relationships with people I cared about. So I’ll again emphasize the importance of using the mastery of male multiple orgasms not as a sexual parlor trick, but as a boon for couples.

That loving attitude also faciliates and encourages their mastery. Let’s state the obvious, at least in terms of sex: self-confidence, trust, and intimacy are essential — while self-consciousness, deception, and selfishness get in the way. Thousands of books have been written about how to create a better sex life, but hardly anyone is talking about the benefits of the male multiple orgasm.

The term sounds like an oxymoron. Men can’t have multiple organisms, we simply aren’t built that way. When teens we discover the biological fact that we’re flaccid, get aroused, ejaculate, then are flaccid again. The cycle repeats quickly or slowly, more or less based on stimuli, partners, age, other factors — but the esssence is always the same: coming is an end, not a beginning.

Thanks to the Minigasm, men no longer “come and go,” instead come and come and come —and are therefore far more likely to stay.

Women, in contrast, are able to orgasm multiple times, with seemingly no limit in terms of enthusiasm or frequency. Although psychologically more complex than male sexual response and often emotionally problematic, the female orgasm doesn’t require recovery time, and enables women to do what men physically cannot do: Come again and again during the same session.

The disparity between sexes is taken for granted, paradoxically fueling opposite goals: Women are physically able to orgasm many times but often can’t at all, while men consider coming as the apex of pleasure and the end-goal of every encounter. No wonder so many people are frustrated, as Frigid Frida keeps hooking up with Prematurely Ejaculating Peter. Fun times.

By making the Minigasm not only biologically possible but a routine component of any couple’s sex life, sensuous satisfaction can be heightened and intimacy deepened. Gay, polyamorous, and other “alternative” couplings equally benefit. Thanks to the Minigasm, men no longer “come and go,” instead come and come and come — and are therefore far more likely to stay.

So how do you master your Mini? I’ll leave this exercise up to you and your mate to create. The Nogasm gave you the foundation, and the former exercise my personal story, a visualization, then walkthrough guide to owning your “trigger place.” Now you can dance around it, stop a Fullgasm in its tracks, and pull back from ejaculation to plateau through enhanced muscle control.

Motivated by and with the help of a loving partner or partners you can refine and extend your Minigasm skills into a creative, playful, and seamlessly integrated part of your shared sexual experience. For example, try to synchronize your minis with your lover’s desires and actions; make a bet over how many minis you can have before breakfast is served. Make a mess!

Before you know it you’ll design your own Minigasmic vocabulary, fantasy and role plays, and Enthusigasms around not only your multiple orgasms — but those of your loving mates. Your partner might start asking, “Did you come full out?” — and it’ll feel great to say, “No, let’s keep going!” with all your energy, enthusiasm, and empathy undiminished. Any other questions?

Summary of Step 2: Mastering Your Minigasm

• Mastering the multiple is the next major milestone in male sexual development after learning basic orgasmic control

• Start with yourself or a partner, but a shared experience provides the intense level of sensory stimulation you might need to succeeed

• Visualize your sexual response as a roller coaster ride where you learn how to prevent yourself from rushing over the top of the first big lift hill

• You do this by building strength and control in your pelvic muscles to stop your orgasm after it starts — and after you’ve already started ejaculating

• By stopping a Fullgasm you’ve turned it into a repeatable Minigasm that results in multiple “wet” (or dry) ejaculations requiring no recovery time

• The best way to gain command and consistency of your Minigasms is to practice with an open and caring partner whom you can please in turn

• Relationships are built on trasparency and empathy, so extended duration and repeat Minigasms are secondary to the initimacy they help foster

• After you’ve mastered your Minigasms you’re ready for Step 3…

Step 3: Free Your Fullgasm

Now we’re ready to come full circle, so to speak. From Nogasm to Multigasm and back to Fullgasm, my intent hasn’t been to circumvent or shortciruit male sexual response but to enhance it. The truths we take for granted do, in fact, often hide falsehoods; sex is such a fundamental need that we all too often mistake our desires for distractions, and our distractions for a fait accompli.

The idea of prolonging love making by removing the male orgasm from the equation is nothing new — aficionados of tantric sex cite Hindu spiritualists who long ago sought a path to enlightenment by infusing everything we do with attention, tenderness, and spirituality. The pantheism that makes all objects holy transforms our lovers’ bodies into temples of sensuous nirvana.

By focusing on very slow, prolonged intercourse that encourages deeply linked intimacy, breathing, touching, and eye contact, tantrics believe that great sex connects people to heighten their awareness, and through the heightening of awareness draws them ever closer together. Fueling the spiritual passion is control, Nogasm an ideal ground state of mind and body.

Deprioritizing the Fullgasm paradoxically makes it even more special: Nothing builds pressure as much as a vacuum, and few things boost desire as much as an excruciating tease.

But extending love making through knowing the Nogasm and mastering the Minigasm doesn’t dismiss the essential role of the Fullgasm — exactly to the contrary, it heightens it. Guys are hardwired to come because doing so is necessary for them to successfully reproduce and the species to survive. Biologically men need to ejaculate since if Darwin doesn’t win we all lose.

Deprioritizing the Fullgasm paradoxically makes it even more special: Nothing builds pressure as much as a vacuum, and few things boost desire as much as an excruciating tease. Of course men want, need, and enjoy coming full out — but as Picasso once said, learn the rules like a pro so you can break them like an artist. And that’s exactly what freeing your Fullgasm is all about.

I’ve added Step 3 because now that you’ve mastered the male multiple orgasm, the significance of the Fullgasm has new meaning for you and your partner. No longer the singular purpose of every sexual encounter, you can playfully turn Fullgasms into special events around which the means justify the ends, and the long slow journey drives to an electrifying destination.

Exercise E: From Dusk ’til Dawn

A common tantric sex ritual is the all-nighter that begins love making at dusk and continues until dawn the following day. The experience occurs in repeating cycles of rising and falling energy, played out in discrete sessions punctated by rest periods between each. Because the overall duration can be as long as 12 hours, lovers are encouraged to go slow and take their time.

The unspoken rule of not releasing fully until the break of dawn — coupled with these oscillations of arousal and rest — lend themselves perfectly to our Nogasm-Minigasm-Fullgasm trifecta. As skilled Nogasmers, holding out until the light of day should come naturally; and as masters of the Minigasm, each sensuous vignette can take on the totality of its own dramatic story arc.

As skilled Nogasmers, holding out until the light of day should come naturally; and as masters of the Minigasm, each sensuous vignette can take on the totality of its own dramatic story arc.

Even better, the ultimate role of the Fullgasm manifests itself with crystal clarity and mystical depth. The two of you embrace and dance all night through endless interactions of your own opposites. Tempted and teased throughout the night and summoned by the first light of dawn, your Fullgasm isn’t an ending, but a symbol of rebirth at the start of a bright new day.

Pick a special occasion, create a mood, spend an entire night in each other’s arms. As the stars whirl across the evening’s sky, synchronize your Minigasms with your mate’s mind and body — mark them, fill them, feed them — then open up and let them do the same with you. As the sun rises, revel in the tenderness of the hours before, and look forward to another loving day ahead.

Recap of the “NMF” Method for Mastery of the Male Multiple Orgasm

1. Know Your “Nogasm” Shift focus from orgasmic ends to sensual means by learning how to comfortably eliminate your orgasm from love making

2. Master Your “Minigasm” Learn how to “Loop the Roller Coaster” by building strength and control in your muscles to stop an orgasm but still ejaculate without needing recovery

3. Free Your “Fullgasm” Transform your love lives into tantric experiences that are deeper and more intimate thanks to orgasmic control, repetition, and drive to full climax

I hope the various flavors of exercises proved helpful. Different people learn in different ways, so short of being able to personalize instruction the best approach is usually to try and cover all the bases. Speaking of personal, I’d love to hear from you. Did you and your partner benefit? How exactly? Does this work for you? How can this approach be improved and shared?

Special thanks to Rusty Yunusoff for the roller coast graphics.